


Song Without Words, Op. 67

by loubuttons



Series: Stark Raving Mad [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Major Character Injury, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 17:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16978845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loubuttons/pseuds/loubuttons
Summary: “He said ‘speaking of loyalty’. Loyalty cost that kid his life -- don’t you dare say I’ve done enough,”





	Song Without Words, Op. 67

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt: “idk spider kid and irondad reuniting in avengers 4”

“Getting a rescue team to Titan has to be our first priority,” 

 

“I’ll go,” Thor’s so reckless now, so maddened by loss, “It sounds fun,” 

 

“I’m in,” Glancing at Bucky’s sleeping face, Steve looks more conflicted than anyone’s ever seen him, “You’ll need all the help you can get,” 

 

“You’re not going,” 

 

Shocked eyes snap to Tony’s face. He hasn’t spoken in two days. 

 

“Tony, I want--” 

 

“No,” He stares at the floor, voice distant, “Stay here. I’ll go with Thor,” 

 

Rocket, sitting at the edge of the fray breaks his brooding silence, “We’re not staying behind,” He bares his sharp teeth, “That’s our family up there,” 

 

“I am Groot,” 

 

No one dares disagree. Rhodey’s preoccupied with Tony, who hunches over the mangled remnants of his right arm. The Wakandans attempted to force him into a medical pod; he fought them viciously until he was given a wide berth. 

 

“Tones,” He begins, cautiously, “I don’t think you should go back to Titan. I know what this means to you but--” 

 

“No, you don’t,” 

 

The raging fire that should rest behind his eyes has gone out. Absently, he caresses his own wounds. 

 

“You have no idea what I would--” Cutting across his own words, Tony presses his ever-trembling left hand to his lips. 

 

T’Challa, barely resurrected himself, stands. Anxiously, Shuri rushes to his side, but is brushed away with warm affection. Based on T’Challa alone, one would have no indication that the Soul Stone held horrors. He stood tall and strong. But Bucky, frenzied and begging, had given them away. 

 

_ “Steve, there’s a kid -- where’s the kid?”  _

 

_ “It’s alright, Buck, you’re back--”  _

 

_ “No, Steve, listen! There’s this boy, he’s just a kid. His name is--” _

 

_ “Peter?” Tony asks, close to screaming. He just watched a man be pieced back together. But where’s his kid?  _

 

_ Eyes brimming, mouth agape, Bucky nods, “It pulled us apart. I tried to hold onto him. I’m sorry,”  _

 

_ Tony collapses on the forest floor.  _

  
  


“Wakanda will aid your journey however we can. But I cannot permit any of our citizens to join your crusade. The cost is too great,” 

 

T’Challa’s musical voice is met with a wave of murmured agreement and bobbing heads. 

 

“I repaired the alien ship,” Shuri says eagerly, yet quietly, “Thor and-and Bruce helped,” 

 

Silence follows. Bruce’s body is cooling in a grave. 

 

“Mr. Stark,” T’Challa calls diplomatically, “Perhaps you have input on the design--”

 

“No, “ Flexing his three remaining fingers dangerously, Tony sighs, “No, I’m sure it’s… I don’t care,” 

 

He seems lost in his own mind, turning images over in his head. After exchanging frowns with Rhodey, Steve steps forward. Brushing past Thor, who’s taken to shadowing Tony wherever he goes, anxious to soothe his wounds, Steve kneels on the floor in front of Tony’s perch. 

 

“I can go in your place. I can come with you. I mean it -- Bucky will understand,” 

 

“No, he won’t,” It isn’t an accusation. The words are hollow, but certain, “He came back from the dead two days ago Steve. No one would understand being abandoned by someone who’s supposed to...to….”

 

When he swallows stiffly, it’s clear they aren’t talking about Bucky anymore. 

“You don’t have to come. You’ve done enough.”

 

The fire reignites. 

 

“No, I haven’t,” With crackling, palpable rage, Tony scorches Steve with his gaze, “I haven’t done anywhere near  _ enough _ . If it weren’t for me, he would’ve stayed on that bus. He would be with his aunt right now,” 

 

As a dry sob shakes him, Tony clutches his mutilated right wrist, “He said ‘speaking of loyalty’.  _ Loyalty _ cost that kid his life -- don’t you dare say I’ve done enough,”  

 

With more fight than anyone thought he had left in him, Tony stands, still hunched. 

 

“Thor and I are going to Titan. Anyone who wants to come, meet us on the ship in an hour. Otherwise, leave me alone,” 

  
  


Tony has three panic attacks on the way there. Despite Rhodey, who followed Tony resolutely, suggesting they turn back, Tony refused to give in. If someone faded, they formed back where they died. Most of the Avengers were found wandering the woods of Wakanda. And if Peter Parker hadn’t followed Tony Stark to an alien planet, he would be within May Parker’s reach right now. 

  
  


_ Dazed, Tony grasps Thor’s shoulders.  _

 

_ “But he faded in my arms.  _ That’s  _ where he died. Isn’t-isn’t that where he should be? Shouldn’t he be with me?”  _

 

_ Thor, who sacrificed all he had left, knowing he’ll never see his beloved brother or home again no matter what, smiles blindingly through tears, “He will be. On my own life, Stark, you’ll see him again,”  _

  
  


“You okay?” 

 

Shivering, Tony pulls away from Rhodey. He curls into himself. 

 

“How much longer?” 

 

The ship isn’t flawless -- much of the hull is severely damaged. As a result, the higher they climb, the further the interior temperature drops. 

 

“A few hours” 

 

To hear Thor’s speech, which used to be so inordinately formal, slip into more relaxed patterns makes something deep in Tony’s heart ache. Bruce is gone. Natasha followed, when her head was cleaved from her neck. Struggling to stay afloat, Steve is clinging to the two friends he has left, both of whom have been dead for a year. Tony’s just broken. But Thor….he still grows. He still loves what he has left. Quietly, each night, he prays for his family, uncaring of listening ears. 

 

Tony tries to pray too.  _ Hours _ . Hours until he might see Peter again. Or die on the surface of Titan of a broken heart. 

 

As they near the brilliant horizon, Tony presses near to Rhodey’s side. 

 

“You don’t have to get off the ship, Tones,” He’s remarkably calm for someone who’s never left Earth before, “We can bring them onboard,” 

 

Tempted, Tony hesitates. He doesn’t want to do this. Titan nearly destroyed him. He should stay on the ship, away from the barren expanse he was stranded on for weeks. 

 

_ “Speaking of loyalty _ ,” 

 

Trembling, he exhales slowly. Peter did this bravely -- how could Tony back down? 

 

“No. He won’t -- Peter might not… I should be there,” 

 

But at the sight of Peter Parker standing, whole and alive, under a brilliant purple sky, Tony freezes. Abruptly, he jerks to a stop. Dust plumes around his feet. His heart won’t beat. Under a hazel gaze, shame wells up. Clumsily, he struggles to conceal his devastated arm. He clenches his right hand into a fist. He  _ feels _ all five fingers respond. But only three really move.  

 

“Tony?” Rhodey tries to pull him forward. 

 

They’re just staring at each other. Peter’s crying. Tony would be lying if he said that he hadn’t dreamed about this moment every night for a year. He thought he could do this. He can’t. 

Peter is here and whole. Truly, he’s the most beautiful sight Tony’s ever beheld. And if Tony has to look at him for another second, he might die. Hungrily, Peter’s gazing at him like he’s never seen Tony before. His brow is furrowed, stance tense. Amongst wizards and aliens, he looks so small. 

 

Eventually, Tony’s feet relinquish their hold on the ground. Stumbling, guided by Rhodey, he struggles forward. The Guardians are reunited, joyously. Either they’re being completely silent, which Tony finds unlikely, or else they’ve already followed Thor back onto the ship. To his shame, Tony leans heavily on his friend; the burns on his right side are wailing. It’s nothing compared to the agony he feels, as he stares into Peter’s eyes. 

 

Tony expected to feel relief, or disbelief, or confusion, or overwhelmed. Instead, he’s tired. The  _ smell _ of Titan and Peter’s misty eyes are swallowing him. Selfishly, his mind takes up a mantra. 

 

_ I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home.  _

 

Before he can collapse under the weight of his living nightmare, the part of him that isn’t twisted and burned speaks. 

 

_ So does Peter.  _

 

Suddenly, Peter isn’t a mirage. He’s a child --  _ Tony’s child.  _ He’s alive and crying. He’s breathing and thinking. He’s scared and Tony’s running. 

 

By the time Peter’s doing the same, they collide. It only takes a moment for the contact to tear Tony apart. What strength possessed him now abandons his mind and body. Weak, he stumbles. Peter catches him. 

 

“Mr. Stark?” Peter sobs, “Are you okay?” 

 

But this isn’t about Tony. He’s not the one who was shredded into nothing and then crushed into life. Using Peter’s awe-inspiring strength, Tony pulls himself upward. Now that they’re  _ this _ close, all the misery and relief strike him. Forcing it back, he frantically runs his left hand every Peter’s face, down to his side, finally grasping his solid hand. This is not about Tony. 

 

Peter’s even more perfect up close. 

 

“Peter?” 

 

“Yeah?” He tries to smile, more brave than anyone else in the universe. 

 

Ash coats Tony’s tongue, “Are you alright? Nothing’s hurt? You’re okay?” 

 

Crying, Peter nods, “I’m… I’m alive, Mr. Stark. I’m  _ alive _ ,” 

 

“Good,” Nothing else has ever been more perfect. 

 

“What happened to you?” Grief bares Peter’s compassion. 

 

Ashamed, Tony tries to hide his hand, add wishes he could cover the right side of his face. Softly, Peter’s eyes trace the pitted burns on his cheek, down to his neck. 

 

“Nothing,” Tony breathes, finally able to, “Nothing happened,” 

 

“But your  _ hand _ , Mr. Stark, it’s… you’re missing your fing--” 

 

“I’m not missing  _ anything.  _ You’re alive,” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I’m aware that once Endgame comes out this work will be rendered obsolete but oh well. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought with comments/kudos.
> 
> This was originally posted on my tumblr (@loubuttons) a couple months ago. Drop in to say hi or send me a prompt.


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